I remember the day well. It was a crisp Sunday morning, and I was playing golf with my friend, Nate. Nate and his wife were two of my favorite people to hang with at the time….easy-going, kind, funny, interesting. While they were a bit younger than me, I admired their easy way with people, with each other, and the way they approached life.
I walked up to my second shot on the 7th hole, having shanked my drive again out into the thick, dewy rough off the right side of the fairway. At this point in my relatively young life, I felt like I had to go hard at everything…EVERYTHING! I had to crush it, whether it was my golf shot, tennis forehand, romantic relationships, or interactions at work. The pressure I put on myself and what I did was unrelenting.
As things this sunny morning were not going my way, I started feeling dejected, thinking that maybe this was a waste of time and energy. What was happening? I am a pretty good golfer, especially with longer shots. This was definitely not fun, and Nate sensed this. He drove the golf cart to my ball and I got out, took out my club, and stood over the ball to take a practice swing. I whiffed at the air, almost taking my back out of alignment with the effort. “AAAAGGHHHH! I hate this!!”
As the words echoed through the trees, Nate said: “Remember Mel - the Pause that refreshes.”
I looked up at him with confusion. “Huh?” “What do you mean?”
Nate continued, “Slow down. You’re rushing. Slow down your back swing, take a Pause, and then swing the club.”
I looked back down, took a deep breath, pulled my club back as I had a thousand times and slightly Paused, keeping my eyes focused on the ball. I then swung through the ball at a slower cadence, resulting in a golf shot that made that lovely arc straight back into the middle of the fairway. While I didn’t know it at the time, those words – ‘the Pause that refreshes’ – would become somewhat of a mantra for me, in different ways.
This weekly blog series will take that mantra, and expand it to posit that ‘the Pause’ can be the key to many of life’s challenges – big and small. It will look at how the Pause affects the body, mind, and spirit…. decision-making….life transitions….work and personal relationships….and so much more. As you consume its content, I invite you to share with me any way that a pause has had a positive effect. Let’s learn together.
As an Executive Coach, I have learned through working with hundreds of clients that the Pause is a fundamental part of our success and effectiveness. I hear it all the time when I question clients on what would have made a difficult situation better. They always say, ‘maybe taking a pause would have helped.”
I contend that the Pause provides a fundamental framework for ensuring attention is paid to what we need.
In this world of hyper-speed, confusion, and overwhelm – join me in learning how to transform your life, one Pause at a time. The Pause provides the effect of enhancing virtually every area of our live. So take a deep breath, savor the Pause, and let’s begin.